Posts from the ‘frustrated’ Category

Thrilling Thursday in the ghetto

Its been awhile since I blogged last and figured now is as good a time as any to fill you all in. So here we go with yesterdays excitement.

Yesterday started off normal, I thought about taking the kids to story time at the library but then remembered that trin still has a fever so we just stayed home. Normal nothingness for the rest of the day. Daniel gets home and the kids go down for a nap.

All Normal until I notice shadow had been barking for a longer then normal amount of time so I got up to go check. I see a group of high school kids sitting on the wall by my house. I watch them through the window cause I know the people in my neighborhood aren’t always the greatest. I hear one kid say “yea look there’s a brick over there…” he hops the wall into the parking lot beside my house so I go over and swing that door up “to shush my dog” which scares the crap out of the boy and his friend heading over to grab the brick which I can only assume is going to be used as a weapon. Needless to say they didn’t get the brick and I stood in the door way staring at them for a bit then came inside.

I Called 911 after that to let them know a group of 20 minors and at least 2 adults were sanding outside my house who looked like they are up to no good. Yes I’m a paranoid old person but with obvious good reason. I went and woke daniel up letting him know what was going on and I had just called the cops. I Asked if he could get up while we wait for them to show up. First 911 call was at a little after 3pm.

I went out front “to check the mail” really I wanted to see what they were up to from a different angle. My mom needed someone to pick her up after work and I wrote her a text and told her that daniel could go get her after the kids left or the cops showed up. A few more kids showed up and hung out for a while. Then at about 4pm 3 cars full of people showed up. I noticed the group was getting agitated so I called 911 while moving to the front yard. Its Kinda easy to “blend in” when they are all in fight mode cause they kinda get tunnel vision. So I’m standing in my drive way telling dispatch the situation has now changed cause 3 cars just pulled up with people that have bats and a machete. Once the machete dude lunges at a guy who goes and stands behind daniel on the porch while I start yelling. Don’t quote me I don’t remember exactly what was said  I just know it had some profanity in it and it startled them all enough to stop for a moment. They “regrouped” and started again. This happens a few more times. The 911 operator asks “ma’am who are you yelling at” to which I replied “the ‘effing’ kids trying to stab people in my front yard!” Bla Bla Bla I yell at a few more kids when one says “why don’t you call the cops then!!!!” So I waved my phone at him and said “who the ‘eff’ do you think I’m talking to!!!” Thats when they all try and reassure me that nothings going on and that everything and everyone is OK.

They hop in their cars and drive off. I let dispatch know the vehicles that are being driven and in what direction they are headed. The kid that almost got stabbed along with his group of friends went just 3 doors down from us. Yay for living so close to such awesome people!

While I was yelling I noticed a small trickle of fluids running down my leg. ***warning TMI approaching*** probably wouldn’t have noticed if I wasn’t in a dress without underwear on. Sorry you were warned. I remember thinking (while yelling) ‘holy cow did I just pee a little while yelling… (which I was doing at the top of my lungs and if you know me at all you know that is pretty freaking loud) ‘or did my water just break?’ After everyone left and I finally got off the phone with 911 daniel and I stayed outside waiting for the cops, which never showed,  and watching to see what else happened. While standing outside I start getting some pretty awesome contractions so I go inside to go pee cause I feel pressure, but don’t actually pee. Check what liquid is on my leg no oder so I think “maybe that was my water”. I go tell daniel what’s going on then run a bath, call my mom to let her know A. What just happened outside the house B. I think my water broke and C. We will come get her in a sec. I call my obs office to see what they want me to do and the conversation goes something like this “so funny question. there was a near stabbing in my front yard and I think my water may have broke while I was yelling at them…” she butts in “you need to go to the hospital” oh alright. All i wanted to do was soak in the tub. So now I have to sit in the tub while my brother gets home to pick up my kids and go get my mom from work. I then text some family members to let them know what’s going on. All the while the contractions have let up enough I don’t feel like I’m being ripped in half but still close and uncomfortable. My brother shows up; daniel and I leave for the hospital.  while parkingat the hospital  RPD calls me to ask if im still in the area. I informed her that no i was not cause i think my water broke and im having contractions. I let them know once again that a group of the people involved are just 3 doors down from where I live. She asks if I was hurt I told her no then she wanted to know if I was already at the hospital. like she’s gonna send out an ambulance or something. Ha no thanks I see how fast you guys responded to my first two calls, I’ll handle this one on my own.

I get there and have NO CLUE where I’m to go. I’ve only been to Parkview a handful of times and that was when my sister was pregnant 7 yrs ago!!! Good place to start is the ER. they send me to admitting where I wait about 20-30 mins to get that handled. Lame!!! Do you know how hard it is to fill out paperwork and answer question while in pain. Grrr. By the time they get a bed cleaned and me all hooked up I’m now only having mild contractions and slight pressure. she swabs for fluids; did you know amniotic fluid makes a fern leaf like pattern when it dries on a microscope slide. I love odd info. Anywho after that dries we know it wasn’t my water that broke just my fat broke body unable to “contain” it self under “pressure”. Lol gotta love being pregnant. Had to wait to get a second opinion on the fluids and then wait for a doc to check my out. By the time that happened @ 9ish I was only having braxton hicks type contractions and pretty much no more pressure so I told him I feel fine I’m ready to go home. (Oh p.s. there was a nurse shift change while I was there and when she came in to introduce herself and see how I was going I started to tell her “well you see what happened was…” she said “oh I heard all about the excitement”. Lol so did the doc, maybe they over heard me telling my dad when he showed up. I let them know I had a Ob appointment scheduled for Friday which they thought was great so home I went after stopping to get Carl’s Jr cause I was STARVING!!!!

so I hope you enjoyed the exciting tales of the ghetto S.A.H.M. Love you all and thanks for all your prayers and concerns.


up close and personal *be warned*

Ok so if you’ve looked at my twitter or facebook recently you’ve seen that I have to go in and have a colposcopy done (looking at the cervix through a microscope/binocular) Heres why, if you care keep reading if not move along. 😉

So I went in to talk about birth control cause Lord knows we don’t need to have more kids. Just covering our bases. Well the visit is going just fine, she’s entering into the computer my order for the IUD and BOOM I asked her about my umm well let me be technical, Postcoital bleeding. I told you up close and personal.

heres how it went down

rebecca: lets take a look. well how long has this been going?

me: well I finally started paying attention to it a few months ago

rebecca: oh umm..ok…(peeking around) yeah this isnt normal. pulled the q tip out covered in blood! (all she did was swab) finished the pap.

me: silence

rebecca: we are gonna send this out and I’m ordering a colposcopy

me: Oh man

rebecca: oh you’ve had one before?

Me: no I took a friend to one

rebecca: k. I can’t do it. sorry it’ll have to be done by an OB/GYN. (rebecca is just a np)

Me: so what do you think it is

Rebecca: well…it could be an infection…and I know its not chlamydia. …they wont do the HPV unless the pap comes back abnormal.

Me: so an infection or what?

rebecca: (kinda side stepping. I know she’s not suppose to say the C word) They wont do a biopsy unless they see something questionable.

went to see the nurse and she called to set up the appointment with the lady and she wasnt in yet so she had to leave a vm and told me if I didn’t hear back by friday give rebecca a call.

got in the car called daniel and was doing fine until I had to say the word biopsy. Daniel told me I wasn’t allowed to get online and google it. I promised I wouldn’t but I did get on wikipedia. :p hey its just straight up information. you dont hear no horror stories just the facts ma’am just the facts. felt pretty good about it. then questions strated popping up in my head. once daniel got home I told him “ok now I get to go on google.” then I started freaking out.

Reasons why I don’t think its just cervicitis
1. I am not in any pain
2. I have not had any peeing issues (incontonice/UTI)
3. none of the gross issues that go along with cervicitis

Reasons why I think it might be cervicitis
1. My cervix bleeds easily
2. I have a heavy feeling in my uterus

Reasons I’m still not comfortable with it being cervicitis
1. cervicitis is sometimes a symptom of cervical cancer

Reasons I don’t think its cancer
1. I’ve never had an abnormal pap
2. having a colposcopy is not that uncommon
3. it could just be cervicitis all by its lonesome

Reasons I think it could be cancer
1. Rebecca’s face and tone. We had a complete change once I brought up the bleeding
2. It sounds like cervicitis which can be a symptom of cancer
3. It would explain God’s timing on giving us children when it didnt fit into what we would have planned.

Daniel and I had a talk while in bed cause I was crying silently and he noticed. He is so amazing he too wont say the C word. So strong, so positive, heres a couple of the things he said. now mind you he’s not a man of many words. “it could just be your uterus is broken and needs to come out” I asked (trying to get him to say the C word) “…but why would it need to come out?” can’t remember what he said but it wasnt cancer, hes so cute!!

I’m doing much better as the days go by. I have my appointment for the colposcopy its October 15th at 930. I’m going to call Rebecca on monday and see if she can tell me about the pap results. that will change everything. If its normal I’ll be just fine. Cause I’m not scared about the procedure its the results I’m scared of, But if its abnormal I’ll see if we can bump that appointment up.

Thanks for listening and sorry if I made you uncomfortable but I did give you fair warning. 🙂


I went to see the surgeon today and he said ultimately it’s my decision. 😦 which sucks cause I don’t want surgery but there is no way I want to have another attack! DANG IT this sucks! He said it’s all up to how much pain I can handle. grrr!!!! He says there can be complications from not having it out but that there also can be complications from getting it out! This is probably one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make ever!!


ok so I don’t know if you know this but I’m a fat chick 😉 and so that means maternity cloths are even that much more expensive and extremely hard to find. So I would just use a rubber band to keep my button some what closed and when that stopped working I would go buy bigger cloths. But the ideal thing would have been for me to use my bella band. A very elastic band that looks likes like a very short tube top. well I got one when I was pregnant with Trinity and when I got pregnant with Micah I started looking for it. I eventually found it… TODAY!!! I could not believe it I was down stairs doing laundry and pulled it out of the dry. Did I notice it going into the washer or the dryer no just when I pulled it out. I am so so shocked. why do I find it now that I’m almost 2 weeks postpartum?!?!?! hmmm. I would have been happier if I never found it at all.


I should not have to fight with the bank to get my money back! SO EFF you I’m out!! going to go close the account on Monday. GRRRR I COULD NOT BE MORE PISSED!!

see I told you

So when the topic of breastfeeding comes up and I say I would love to exclusively breastfeed but just don’t have enough milk glands they look at me like I’m insane (*cough* mother in law) and it’s just an excuse to not be good at it. I tried very hard with Trinity. There is nothing I would love to do more then to solely breastfeed my babies especially cause of the digestive problems they have. well I finally looked up the issue I have. Which if you know me is odd that I didn’t come home that day from the lactation specialist and look it up but seeing as I was in the middle of a mental break down from being inadequate and trying to nurse a 6 day old I just didn’t seem to have time or the desire. Well today I finally found the time and the desire to look it up so about 10 seconds on google and I had my answer. It’s called tubular hypoplastic breast/mammary hypoplasia/breast hypoplasia/hypoplastic breasts

do you think the use of plastic in my boobie issue means I need to get breast implants. I think it’s a good argument. 😉

heres what I got from the 1st site I checked out. (beware you will learn more about my breasts then you ever wanted to know. 😉 )

Tubular hypoplastic breast

There is one exception to the rule about breast size/shape and breastfeeding ability, and that is that few women have insufficient glandular tissue in their breasts. In other words they simply don’t have enough milk producing cells, and these women can then experience milk supply problems. This condition is called breast hypoplasia or hypoplastic breasts.

This kind of breast is underdeveloped (hypoplastic) in terms of the milk glands. They lack normal fullness and may look like ’empty sacks’, and may seem bulbous or swollen at the tip.  Many times hypoplastic breasts are widely spaced from each other, and narrow at the chest wall. Due to lack of glandular tissue, they have an elongated or tubular form, and often are quite small. The areola can be enlarged. There may be a significant asymmetry.  The breasts don’t grow during pregnancy and there is no engorgement when the milk is supposed to come in after giving birth.

Scientists don’t yet know for sure the reason(s) for this underdevelopment. One theory is that at least in some women it would be linked to too little progesterone, since progesterone mediates the growth of alveoli (milk making glands).

In a 2006 study in Mexico, teenage girls who lived in the agricultural valley with heavy pesticide use had poor mammary gland development, and 18.5% of them had NO milk glands.

Other issues include PCOS and other insulin metabolism issues, hypothyroidism, and testosterone overload. Fixing the metabolic issues may help, as might pushing lots of stimulation to increase prolactin levels after birth.

There is also one interesting case reproted in the medical literature where a woman with such underdeveloped breasts was able to successfully nurse her second child, after being given natural progesterone during her second pregnancy. Progesterone stimulates the growth of the glandular tissue in breasts during pregnancy.

If you happen to have these tubular hypoplastic (under-developed) breasts, talk to a lactation consultant before giving birth. Even better, talk to a doctor before pregnancy about a possible natural progesterone treatment. There are measures you can take to try increase your milk supply and your chances of breastfeeding, such as

  • have an unmedicated birth if possible, and put the baby to the breast right after birth
  • nurse often and on cue
  • start to pump about three days after birth
  • try the herbs fenugreek and blessed thistle or the drug domperidone
  • breast compression technique to stimulate more letdowns
  • Correct underlying metabolic or hormonal issues (PCOS, hypothyroidism). One lady has posted her success story below; she was able to see breast changes during her 2nd pregnancy and subsequently breastfeed, after taking Metformin to correct her PCOS.

(which I did all of these religiously with Trinity and it did nothing)

Discuss these and other options with the lactation consultant.  You may need to supplement with formula,so it is important to observe the baby’s output of wet and dirty diapers and weight gain to make sure the baby is getting enough nutrition. Remember also to be happy for whatever breast milk you produce and not blame yourself – even a little is better than none!  And if you don’t get any milk at all (which does happen), remember it’s not your fault.  For this kind of situation we are thankful that the baby formula exists.

Plastic surgeons try to take the most out of women with hypoplastic breasts. Since it is a true medical condition, they try to push these women to get implants to correct the deformity. Having hypoplastic breasts is not any dangerous condition. They look different, and as explained above, women with hypoplastic/tubular breasts often have difficulties in producing enough milk.

It is understandable to feel bad when you have deformed breasts, and there’s nothing wrong if you wish to have it corrected. Unfortunately the implants will only lessen the milk supply and the probability of successful breastfeeding, besides forcing the woman to go through several surgeries throughout her lifetime, and putting her to a high risk of serious complications and diseases.

Doc appointment

Yesterday I had an OB appointment and my doc is crazy. 🙂 It started off with “the weigh in” 😉 I gained 1 lb in 2 weeks bringing me to a grand total of 6 lbs. had to look through my Past Visit thingys to see what I started at. I try very hard not to remember those numbers. 😉 then came the blood pressure which was perfect. then off the restroom which is my favorite part. no sugar not protein no ketones. So I’m thinking this is a very good appointment. We go back to the room and I have to get 1/2 nakie cause its gonna be group B test time. not fun he was rough! feel very sorry for his wife. He comes in and we listen to the heart strong at 145 and my fundal measurement is 35 almost 26 weeks so at most I’m a week ahead which is much less then I have been. I’ve been at least two weeks ahead. So I’m thinkin wow this is a good appointment. I’m feelin good about this. Then he opens his mouth and I know he’s insane! He talkin about how he’s getting too big I need to cut down on my sweets and carbs. ummm….if I was eating unhealthy to make Micah big there would be other sings like excessive weight gain, high blood sugar levels and what not but no! None of those are happening so it’s just I’m makin a massively cute chubby baby! So yeah he’s tryin to tell me if I don’t watch it I’ll have a 9 lb baby and then I’ll have a c section and bla bla! NUT JOB! has he seen my hips has he seen how tall I am. I’ve told him over and over again we make big babys in this family and that trinity at 7 lbs 2 oz was the smallest from both sides and that includes my bro who was a preemie! NERD!!! if the come at me with a knife I’m running out L & D flashin my fanny all the way to the car!

So I left there and headed upstairs to have my blood drawn. all my CBC levels are good and my thyroid is starting to head towards the low rang so hopefully I’m not getting a hypothyroid. (like I’m not fat enough already!)

Also last night was our last Bradley class. Very sad about that I can’t wait for our reunion class in a few months. The couple with the furthest away due date is Nov 16th (Daniel and I’s anniversary) so it’ll be after thanksgiving and before christmas.