Posts from the ‘poor thing’ Category

up close and personal *be warned*

Ok so if you’ve looked at my twitter or facebook recently you’ve seen that I have to go in and have a colposcopy done (looking at the cervix through a microscope/binocular) Heres why, if you care keep reading if not move along. 😉

So I went in to talk about birth control cause Lord knows we don’t need to have more kids. Just covering our bases. Well the visit is going just fine, she’s entering into the computer my order for the IUD and BOOM I asked her about my umm well let me be technical, Postcoital bleeding. I told you up close and personal.

heres how it went down

rebecca: lets take a look. well how long has this been going?

me: well I finally started paying attention to it a few months ago

rebecca: oh umm..ok…(peeking around) yeah this isnt normal. pulled the q tip out covered in blood! (all she did was swab) finished the pap.

me: silence

rebecca: we are gonna send this out and I’m ordering a colposcopy

me: Oh man

rebecca: oh you’ve had one before?

Me: no I took a friend to one

rebecca: k. I can’t do it. sorry it’ll have to be done by an OB/GYN. (rebecca is just a np)

Me: so what do you think it is

Rebecca: well…it could be an infection…and I know its not chlamydia. …they wont do the HPV unless the pap comes back abnormal.

Me: so an infection or what?

rebecca: (kinda side stepping. I know she’s not suppose to say the C word) They wont do a biopsy unless they see something questionable.

went to see the nurse and she called to set up the appointment with the lady and she wasnt in yet so she had to leave a vm and told me if I didn’t hear back by friday give rebecca a call.

got in the car called daniel and was doing fine until I had to say the word biopsy. Daniel told me I wasn’t allowed to get online and google it. I promised I wouldn’t but I did get on wikipedia. :p hey its just straight up information. you dont hear no horror stories just the facts ma’am just the facts. felt pretty good about it. then questions strated popping up in my head. once daniel got home I told him “ok now I get to go on google.” then I started freaking out.

Reasons why I don’t think its just cervicitis
1. I am not in any pain
2. I have not had any peeing issues (incontonice/UTI)
3. none of the gross issues that go along with cervicitis

Reasons why I think it might be cervicitis
1. My cervix bleeds easily
2. I have a heavy feeling in my uterus

Reasons I’m still not comfortable with it being cervicitis
1. cervicitis is sometimes a symptom of cervical cancer

Reasons I don’t think its cancer
1. I’ve never had an abnormal pap
2. having a colposcopy is not that uncommon
3. it could just be cervicitis all by its lonesome

Reasons I think it could be cancer
1. Rebecca’s face and tone. We had a complete change once I brought up the bleeding
2. It sounds like cervicitis which can be a symptom of cancer
3. It would explain God’s timing on giving us children when it didnt fit into what we would have planned.

Daniel and I had a talk while in bed cause I was crying silently and he noticed. He is so amazing he too wont say the C word. So strong, so positive, heres a couple of the things he said. now mind you he’s not a man of many words. “it could just be your uterus is broken and needs to come out” I asked (trying to get him to say the C word) “…but why would it need to come out?” can’t remember what he said but it wasnt cancer, hes so cute!!

I’m doing much better as the days go by. I have my appointment for the colposcopy its October 15th at 930. I’m going to call Rebecca on monday and see if she can tell me about the pap results. that will change everything. If its normal I’ll be just fine. Cause I’m not scared about the procedure its the results I’m scared of, But if its abnormal I’ll see if we can bump that appointment up.

Thanks for listening and sorry if I made you uncomfortable but I did give you fair warning. 🙂


Weekend away

Daniel informed me tonight that we have to go to Vegas this weekend without any of the kids because I have not had a weekend away from the children since we had trinity. It does not feel that long and I’m still having a hard time leaving the kids here while we go away for the weekend. My main reason for not wanting to leave them is I don’t have a problem taking them places with me I enjoy seeing Trinitys face as she experiences new things and I don’t want to miss any of them. Which is why it’ll be so ubber hard on me when/if I get a job. I also don’t think its anybody else’s responsibility to take care of our kids. we made them we need to watch them. Its not that I don’t think anyone else can’t do a good job. (think I used enough negatives in that sentence) Its just I’m mommy and that’s my job To care for my kids. I just don’t want to burden my loved ones. This will be a fun weekend for Daniel and I and even the kids. But it will be one of the hardest weekends of my life I think!

it’s out of here

So I called the lady that schedules the surgery’s yesterday and she never called me back. Jerk! So I called again today and she said that “the 1st available date is Jan 19th.”

hmm “that’s my husbands birthday”

“ok I have the 22nd”

My friend said “hey you should do it on the 19th that way daniel can’t give you the gift that keeps on giving”. hehehe If you didn’t know or due the math ourself  micah was a birthday present pregnancy. I know TMI sorry.

My pre op is 2 weeks before here in riverside and the laparoscopy will be in Ontario. I’m not looking forward to having my belly filled with air for a few days.  But hey that’s the price you gotta pay to no longer have to worry about having another attack.

see I told you

So when the topic of breastfeeding comes up and I say I would love to exclusively breastfeed but just don’t have enough milk glands they look at me like I’m insane (*cough* mother in law) and it’s just an excuse to not be good at it. I tried very hard with Trinity. There is nothing I would love to do more then to solely breastfeed my babies especially cause of the digestive problems they have. well I finally looked up the issue I have. Which if you know me is odd that I didn’t come home that day from the lactation specialist and look it up but seeing as I was in the middle of a mental break down from being inadequate and trying to nurse a 6 day old I just didn’t seem to have time or the desire. Well today I finally found the time and the desire to look it up so about 10 seconds on google and I had my answer. It’s called tubular hypoplastic breast/mammary hypoplasia/breast hypoplasia/hypoplastic breasts

do you think the use of plastic in my boobie issue means I need to get breast implants. I think it’s a good argument. 😉

heres what I got from the 1st site I checked out. (beware you will learn more about my breasts then you ever wanted to know. 😉 )

Tubular hypoplastic breast

There is one exception to the rule about breast size/shape and breastfeeding ability, and that is that few women have insufficient glandular tissue in their breasts. In other words they simply don’t have enough milk producing cells, and these women can then experience milk supply problems. This condition is called breast hypoplasia or hypoplastic breasts.

This kind of breast is underdeveloped (hypoplastic) in terms of the milk glands. They lack normal fullness and may look like ’empty sacks’, and may seem bulbous or swollen at the tip.  Many times hypoplastic breasts are widely spaced from each other, and narrow at the chest wall. Due to lack of glandular tissue, they have an elongated or tubular form, and often are quite small. The areola can be enlarged. There may be a significant asymmetry.  The breasts don’t grow during pregnancy and there is no engorgement when the milk is supposed to come in after giving birth.

Scientists don’t yet know for sure the reason(s) for this underdevelopment. One theory is that at least in some women it would be linked to too little progesterone, since progesterone mediates the growth of alveoli (milk making glands).

In a 2006 study in Mexico, teenage girls who lived in the agricultural valley with heavy pesticide use had poor mammary gland development, and 18.5% of them had NO milk glands.

Other issues include PCOS and other insulin metabolism issues, hypothyroidism, and testosterone overload. Fixing the metabolic issues may help, as might pushing lots of stimulation to increase prolactin levels after birth.

There is also one interesting case reproted in the medical literature where a woman with such underdeveloped breasts was able to successfully nurse her second child, after being given natural progesterone during her second pregnancy. Progesterone stimulates the growth of the glandular tissue in breasts during pregnancy.

If you happen to have these tubular hypoplastic (under-developed) breasts, talk to a lactation consultant before giving birth. Even better, talk to a doctor before pregnancy about a possible natural progesterone treatment. There are measures you can take to try increase your milk supply and your chances of breastfeeding, such as

  • have an unmedicated birth if possible, and put the baby to the breast right after birth
  • nurse often and on cue
  • start to pump about three days after birth
  • try the herbs fenugreek and blessed thistle or the drug domperidone
  • breast compression technique to stimulate more letdowns
  • Correct underlying metabolic or hormonal issues (PCOS, hypothyroidism). One lady has posted her success story below; she was able to see breast changes during her 2nd pregnancy and subsequently breastfeed, after taking Metformin to correct her PCOS.

(which I did all of these religiously with Trinity and it did nothing)

Discuss these and other options with the lactation consultant.  You may need to supplement with formula,so it is important to observe the baby’s output of wet and dirty diapers and weight gain to make sure the baby is getting enough nutrition. Remember also to be happy for whatever breast milk you produce and not blame yourself – even a little is better than none!  And if you don’t get any milk at all (which does happen), remember it’s not your fault.  For this kind of situation we are thankful that the baby formula exists.

Plastic surgeons try to take the most out of women with hypoplastic breasts. Since it is a true medical condition, they try to push these women to get implants to correct the deformity. Having hypoplastic breasts is not any dangerous condition. They look different, and as explained above, women with hypoplastic/tubular breasts often have difficulties in producing enough milk.

It is understandable to feel bad when you have deformed breasts, and there’s nothing wrong if you wish to have it corrected. Unfortunately the implants will only lessen the milk supply and the probability of successful breastfeeding, besides forcing the woman to go through several surgeries throughout her lifetime, and putting her to a high risk of serious complications and diseases.

no way

Ok so I’m totally addicted to and today I just can not believe this one. I mean most of them I can see happening cause people are pretty ridiculous but this one takes the cake!

how on earth can she be worried about the sounds when she is freaking smoking!! really that’s not something i don’t know the surgeon general tells you not to do. I’ve yet to see a study done about the effects of jackhammer noise on unborn children. she does however make me feel like mom of the century though.


my dad had his cataract surgery today and he keeps talking about the stitch in his eye and it makes me want to throw up. I can handle talk about anything but that! the eye is just a no talk, fly, touch, anything zone for me.  he likes being able to push that button with me cause i have so few and I push his all the time. hehe we’re an evil family. Daniel and I do the same thing to each other. we are an odd couple. odd family. odd people. thats us in a nutshell. 🙂

Ear Infections

So Trinity and Daniel both went and had a hearing test done on Wed. Daniel has mild hearing loss in both ears but worse in his right. Duh I could’ve told them that and we could’ve saved the $20. Trinity failed the hearing test since she is fighting a double ear infection. Long story short not sure really how many she’s had and if they are going away after the antibiotics. So we are seeing the ENT or the head and neck surgery department at kaiser. If in the 5 week when we go back she still has the fluid she’ll get an even stronger dose of antibiotics and in 5 more weeks after that if it’s still there tube are going in. My siblings and I had bad constant ear infections growing up so it doesn’t surprise me. I’ve kinda had a feeling for a while that she might have fluid in her ears just from the way she trys to repeat what I say. It sounds nothing like what I said but she says it the same every time. Like “duh mom that’s what I said sheesh can’t you tell”?  but we’ll see in a few months, if she does get the tubes look out world cause Trinity will start talkin and never shut up. hmmm…that doesn’t sound anything like her momma does it?

anywho heres a pic from the visit yesterday to talk about her ears and the test.

yep that’s them sitting in the waiting room, my nephew Brandon reading the business section on the Press Enterprise and Trinity reading a pamphlet on middle ear infections. They sat for a good 3 minutes silent and acting like they are reading! it was awesome!!